Body is a vessel
Those four words became a bit of a joke during my pregnancy.
Our friends were three months ahead and the boys decided that despite the pregnancy cravings for chocolate and salty salty chips (and tinned pineapple – what only me?) weren’t good for the baby and we needed to treat our body like a temple.
Staggered that they thought they could get between a pregnant woman and her cravings – my friend and I laughed it off before her husband made the statement that our bodies were a vessel.
It got me thinking – my whole life I have been obsessed with what my body looks like.
I’ve been terribly cruel to myself always putting myself down.
Describing myself as a big girl and trying all of the fad diets, even when I was still in primary school.
I’ve always had a terrible relationship with my body and while on the outside I would sometimes profess to be happy in my own skin – the reality was that I wasn’t.
When I looked in the mirror I saw a fatty
Even when I was 10 – and one of the thinnest girls in the class, I was so focused on my fat that I became quite ill after refusing to eat.
When I was pregnant – I was very aware of the extra weight I would put on and while I didn’t mind because I knew it would fuel my body.
I was acutely aware of the pressure to lose it all again soon after bubs was born.
I was pretty lucky – I didn’t put much weight on during my pregnancy. It was all belly.
I didn’t even get stretch marks until the final week and even then, they are pretty minor.
I first took my daughter to swimming lessons at 12 weeks
And the realisation that I would need to strip down to my bathers would usually make me feel sick – but I felt strangely calm.
I never had a bikini body – and definitely don’t have one now.
But my body has gone through these changes because I was able to create something far more beautiful than those swimwear models in magazines.
The stretch marks are proof of the miracle of life and I don’t care if they sneak out from under my bathing suit.
I’ve made a promise to my daughter, even before she was born, not to continue my poor relationship with my own body.
And I will do everything in my power to ensure she is comfortable in her own skin. I will not talk myself down in front of her and I will celebrate her for who she is, not what she looks like.
I’ll help her have a healthy outlook on life and stay active – but the body hate stops here.
I’ll wear my togs with pride because without this body, that beautiful smiling bouncing bundle of joy wouldn’t be here.
– Melissa Meehan
