Author Kaz Cooke is back with a new sequel to her bestselling guide to pregnancy, Up the Duff.
Stonnington Boroondara Kids readers are lucky to have access to an extract of her new book Babies & Toddlers.
There are around 1.4 million babies and toddlers in Australia with more than 310,000 babies expected to be born next year. Although we’ve been parenting forever, there has never been a more complex, contradictory and confusing time in which to do so.
As a former journalist, Kaz has done all the hard work to find what parents need to know. She’s sorted through the conflicting advice, consulted hundreds of parents, grandparents and carers, spoken with more than 30 medical experts and other top specialists, kept on top of the latest government health recommendations and safety guidelines, and waded through all the internet blather to identify the way-bonkers stuff to avoid.
Topics included in Babies & Toddlers:
– Busting the myths bombarding new parents
– How to decide on what you do and don’t share of your parenting on social media
– Getting through tough times
– Helping toddlers identify their emotions
– Choosing a parenting style
– Planning a birthday party for your toddler
– Advice on how to be a real partner to a new mum
EXTRACT ***(MEL CAN MAIL PDF OF THIS TO WHOEVER NEEDS IT)***
What is discipline?
When people talk about discipline they often just think it means punishment.
The point of discipline is not to punish a child but to teach them to behave with kindness and consideration, and to understand the rules.
‘Discipline’ sounds a little bit like what English politicians get up to in expensive London dungeons with bored ladies called Mistress Nannypants.
Try to think of yourself as a coach, not a punisher.
It’s impossible for a child to have the mental capacity to put themselves in your shoes.
But you can try to imagine you’re a child attempting to work out the right way to behave – or what you can get away with.
It’s your kid’s job to test the boundaries so they know where they are, and your job to keep the boundaries clear.
Set some reasonable goals early on – these can start when your child is 1 or 2 and build through their preschool years.
Here are some approaches you might find useful:
– Think of your child as your ally or apprentice, not the enemy
– Show your child the right way to behave
– Help your child learn when a behaviour is wrong and why
– Recognise that your child may not understand or care why they’re supposed to behave in a certain way. Explain when you can, but ‘That’s the rule’ is a shorthand response. Toddlers are learning to be logical, but they’re not there yet.
– Give your child choices of things that don’t matter. ‘Apple or pear?’ but not ‘Sit still or hit your sister’
– Establish a small core of simple ground rules that are consistently observed, such as bedtime is 7 o’clock, no hitting, and you don’t get what you ask for if you use a whingey voice – so the child isn’t overwhelmed by trying to remember 56 rules
– Be clear that the aim is for your child to understand what are the right things to do, not to humiliate them or make them feel inadequate or guilty when they do something wrong.
