Seeking help during the tough times of parenthood

PANDA CEO Terri Smith

By Danielle Galvin

Too often when new or expectant parents struggle as they begin their parenting journey, any feelings of anxiety, stress, tension or worry are dismissed as the ’baby blues’ or put down to sheer exhaustion.

But experts say there are warning signs which could suggest a more serious illness, like depression or anxiety, and it’s important to seek help.

Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia (PANDA) CEO Terri Smith says as many as one in five expecting or new mums and one in 10 expecting or new dads will experience the illnesses.

Here, she explains the signs to look for and how PANDA can help.

What is perinatal anxiety and depression?

​Perinatal anxiety and depression is a serious and common illness that occurs during pregnancy or within the year after birth. Left untreated, it can have a devastating impact on parents, partners, baby and the rest of the family. In the worst cases, lives can even be put at risk.

Depression covers lower mood feelings such as having trouble feeling joy in things that would typically light you up, feeling lethargic and withdrawing from friends and family.

Anxiety is more heightened moods such as panic attacks, a racing heart or worrying thoughts that go round and round in your head, or a sense of anger and frustration.

How can the checklists on your website help new mums and dads?

One of the tricky things about having depression and/or anxiety as a new or expecting parent is that many symptoms can look similar to what most people experience at this time, for example feeling tired, a bit irritable or emotional or worrying about baby’s health.

PANDA’s checklists ask questions about changes expecting and new parents have noticed since starting the journey to becoming a parent – in their body and behaviour; in their thoughts and feelings; and in their relationships.

Completing the checklist creates a results page that gives users an indication whether what they are experiencing or observing in a loved one could be a reason to seek help.

What is the difference between perinatal anxiety and depression and the baby blues?

Having a degree of trouble adjusting to the changes that come with impending parenthood or the arrival of a new baby is natural.

Feeling a little ‘teary’, anxious or irritable for a few days in the weeks after the birth – often referred to as the ‘baby blues’ – is common. However, when a low mood or feelings of anxiousness start to cause concerns or stop an expecting or new parent from functioning normally for more than two weeks, they may be experiencing perinatal anxiety or depression.

Is there still a stigma surrounding mental health for new parents?

Stigma still prevents many people from seeking the support they need. Everyday PANDA’s telephone counsellors hear from callers who tell us they are ashamed of what they’re feeling and they’re afraid they’ll be seen as a bad parent if they admit to struggling. They need to know that these thoughts are common and that help is available.

How does PANDA help?

PANDA operates Australia’s only specialist national helpline to support expecting and new mums and dads affected by perinatal mental illness. We also train and educate health professionals who work with families to be able to identify and treat these illnesses in their clients and patients. In addition, we raise awareness within the community because we know one of the key reasons many expecting and new parents affected by mental health concerns don’t seek help is because they don’t understand what’s happening to them.

PANDA has two websites: our main panda.org.au site and also a site specifically for expecting and new dads (howisdadgoing.org.au). These sites provide a genuine online support option for those struggling with perinatal anxiety and depression and postnatal psychosis, as well as their loved ones and carers – providing accurate and accessible information and resources. Importantly, our websites are full of stories from mums who have experienced perinatal anxiety and depression and postnatal psychosis.

How should we approach new parents who we think might be suffering?

Parents, families, partners and friends play a big part in helping their loved ones. Here are some of the things you can do:

– Focus on providing practical help and gentle emotional support. Try and listen when your loved one expresses difficult or uncomfortable feelings or thoughts without jumping in to ‘fix it’, minimise it or ‘make it better.’

– Ask your loved one what help might be useful for them. Avoid the temptation to rush in and take over.

– Encourage your partner, friend or family member to open up to their GP, midwife, obstetrician or child health nurse – or call PANDA’s National Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Helpline 1300 726 306.

– Perinatal anxiety and depression affects every area of wellbeing: motivation, decision making and view of self and others. It is probably not the best time to make big life decisions about things like your relationship, career or house.

– Looking after your own physical, emotional and mental health is crucial if you hope to provide ongoing support to your partner, friend or family member with perinatal depression or anxiety.

– Exercise, a healthy diet, limiting alcohol consumption and sufficient sleep all make a difference.

If you need help, call the PANDA hotline (Mon to Fri, 9am – 7.30pm AEST) on 1300 726 306.