By Danielle Galvin
For many Australian kids, spending time with their grandparents over the summer school holidays is a rite of passage.
With nearly six weeks off over Christmas and into January, many parents call on their own parents to watch the kids during the week.
It’s a chance to spend some quality time together, at the beach, heading to the park for a picnic, or a trip to the movies.
Pregnancy, Birth and Baby, a government funded website and resource has some tips to make sure families stay harmonious.
One tip includes being upfront about how many hours you can babysit so that everyone is clear on the expectations.
Grandparents Victoria director Anne McLeish agrees and advises grandparents to sit down and have a chat with parents beforehand, to make sure everyone is on the same page.
She said a common problem that comes up is who pays for the day’s activities, especially when kids have an expectation to be kept busy.
“I’d tell (people) to have a face to face meeting, and sit around a table and even write down what the agreement is,” she said.
“So often we find people have different understanding about what the grandparents or parents agreed to do.
“It sounds very formal, but having those points can make things clear to people.
“The thing that needs to be addressed is who pays for what.
“The single most common complaint we have from grandparents is that they pay for far more than what they can actually afford to pay for, particularly over the school holidays when kids want to go to the movies, go out for a picnic or go to McDonald’s.
“I’m not accusing parents of deliberately taking advantage, it’s another case of it getting lost.”
She said another issue that comes up is parents failing to pick up their kids on time.
“Grandparents need to know when they knock off for the night, so to speak,” she said.
Ms McLeish also suggested sending lunch boxes for kids lunches and snacks, particularly if your child is a fussy eater.
Another suggestion is being clear about rules, boundaries and how to handle tantrums.
She said in her view the mantra “my house my rules” is a reasonable approach.
But it’s also a lovely chance to build a special bond.
Both children and their grandparents relish in that time together, with a chance to make memories together.
“Grandchildren often stimulate the inner child in the grandparents, and it’s play that does it,” Ms McLeish said.
“Child centred play brings grandparents and grandchildren together.”
