Column | How do you know when you’re done having kids?

For me, the decision was a no-brainer.

By Melissa Meehan

I always wanted to be a mum.

For me it was something I felt I was born to do. I’ve been blessed with two beautiful girls and it’s everything I ever wanted.

But how do you know when you’re done having kids?

For me? The decision was easy.

Before I met my husband I always wanted three. He wanted one. So we agreed on two, and I always thought I’d be able to twist his arm for a third.

But after giving birth to my second daughter in August – I know for sure that I’m done.

I always marvelled at the female body. How a woman could be growing a baby while still living her normal life, beaming with that pregnancy glow.

I never experienced that glow – the closest I got to it was working up a sweat while heaving into the nearest toilet bowl.

And let me tell you. I vomited a lot. Right through both pregnancies. The second way worse than the first (despite ALL of the medication).

Hyperemesis Gravarium (HG) is a severe type of morning sickness that causes constant vomiting, nausea and dehydration.

It’s what Kate Middleton has, and like the princess I am – I have it too.

This meant I vomited numerous times every day that I was pregnant.

And the constant intense nausea is beyond anything I have ever experienced – and believe me having ginger or eating dry crackers doesn’t help.

It was bad with my first but my OB (helpfully after I was already pregnant with number two!) told me it gets worse with every pregnancy.

This time around I was prescribed a pharmacy (that’s the collective noun for numerous tablets, right? ) of drugs – some given to cancer patients to help them cope with the effects of chemo therapy.

And I was still sick more than five times a day.

I was working 2 days a week in the city and doing 2 days a week at home and looking after a very active toddler too.

It was exhausting.

I was lucky that my boss saw I was struggling and allowed me to work from home when I needed.

And then I went into preterm labour at 32 weeks.

They were able to hold her off but I was hospitalised on strict bed rest until she arrived five weeks later.

By then I was taking 20 tablets a day to minimise the vomiting, dull the nausea and keep the baby healthy and inside for as long as possible.

The emotional and physical roll that pregnancy took on me was intense and while I love my girls more than anything in the world. I couldn’t go through it again.

It not only puts the baby’s health at risk, but mine too and for me to be the best mum I can be – I need to be able to run on all cylinders.