Fashion is generally the furthest thing from a new mum’s mind.
But Jess Dempsey says feeling comfortable and confident helped her reconnect with herself post-kids.
The Armadale mum of three boys and fashion blogger was in that familiar “mum rut”.
“You’re stuck at home, you haven’t slept, you’ve got this newborn baby and you’re still trying to come to terms with what you’re doing,” she said.
So Jess paused and gave herself a moment to think about herself.
“I could be a little bit more confident knowing I’m not just this newborn baby’s mum, I’m me too,” she said.
“I had that revelation and looked in my wardrobe and thought ‘right, what fits me? What’s really my style?’ and tried to reconnect with my personal style again.”
Jess searched for items that made her feel good and fit her new body.
“Before kids I was trend-driven,” she said.
“It’s actually not about trends, it’s about what looks good on me.”
Still hanging around in your maternity and breastfeeding clothes?
“I think it’s OK,” Jess said.
“If that’s what makes them feel good, they’re doing it for a reason.
“Maybe those styles suit them.
“Maybe they’re concerned that they’ve got a tummy they haven’t had before, and they feel better.”
To mums who want to break out of the maternity wear, Jess suggested moving the clothes on to another mum-to-be.
“Then I would find something similar that’s not a maternity or breastfeeding piece,” she said.
“If you like a striped oversized T-shirt, go to Decjuba or Country Road and find something similar.
“That’s their first step of moving away from that maternity identity.”
And the clothes that don’t quite fit your new post-baby shape?
“There’s no point holding onto something in your wardrobe taking up space,” Jess said.
“Move them on to a friend or the Salvos and look at embracing you now.
“Life’s too short to worry and stress about ‘I can’t squeeze into these’.”
Buy a new pair of jeans in a size that’s comfortable and makes you feel good now.
“Get something that’s fitting and flattering, rather than holding onto something that might not ever be,” she said.
“Those ripped skinny leg jeans might not be cool anymore anyway…”
Jess’s eldest, Aston, is now aged 10. Will is 8 and her youngest, Freddie, is 4.
She was 28 and one of Australia’s first fashion bloggers when she had Aston.
“I was hesitant to talk about my pregnancy and show my pregnancy, but as time went on my audience was growing with me,” she said.
“I started sharing slowly about being a mum and the fact that I could still be fashionable but still be a stay-at-home mum.
“People started to feel that connection, people started to jump on to relate to me.
“It wasn’t until my third son that I documented my entire pregnancy journey.
“My audience were hanging out to hear it.”
Jess said her boys had always loved doing photos with her, but she listened to their opinions and took no for an answer.
“Things have evolved. I haven’t blogged about parenting for a long time,” she said.
“Sharing a few little things on Instagram about my wild little child or the way he’s grown through that – it’s all about the connection.
“They want someone to relate to.
“Of course I’m careful with what I say, what I show, what I do.
“There’s a lot that I keep private.”
Jess was wearing leggings, runners and a jumper when we caught up with her.
“It got me out of the house by 8am with three children, off to school and kinder, and off to pilates,” she said.
She said mum fashion was about what worked and “that grab-and-go outfit”.
“It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, it just has to be something that you’re happy to be out and about in,” she said.
“Mums are fashionable now. Mums know how it works.
“It’s not about what other people are wearing.
“It’s about you, what makes you feel good, what you feel you look best in, rather than following that trend.
“If you feel comfortable, you radiate that.”
