Preparing kids for life’s challenges

Dr Kathryn Hackman. Pictures: ROB CAREW

By Casey Neill

Courageous Kids is helping parents to support and prepare their anxious children.

Armidale doctor and mum Kathryn Hackman used her first-hand experience to create the app.

“I was told by my kid’s kindergarten teacher that he was a bit sensitive,” she said.

“My kid is certainly more anxious than most.”

Dr Hackman was proactive and took him to a pediatrician, occupational therapist, speech pathologist and psychologist to learn the skills to support him.

“The key strategy that they use is preparing for change,” she said.

‘Social stories’ was among the most common technique – and the most labour-intensive.

“This isn’t meant to take over from anything else,” she said.

“I just feel that I’m in such a privileged position and it’s still bloody hard.

“I thought ‘what are other families doing?’.

“I want this to be accessible for all families.

“A true social story should be personalised to the child.

“You can get some online but they are rubbish.

“So I started making stories that were still informative to my child but had a little extra warmth.”

Dr Hackman writes the stories then sends them to a child psychologist for input.

They explain everyday situations and the ‘rules’ adults take for granted in a clear and direct way.

From travelling for work to starting preschool, she put in the preparation and watched her kids thrive while others fell to pieces.

“All kids thrive when they have a bit of preparation,” she said.

“We’re all so time-poor.

“The app is something that’s nice to have for neurotypical kids, and a need to have for kids with anxiety or autism.

“If you don’t have the language, if you don’t know the words, even by doing a few stories with your child, you will learn how to talk with your child.

“It’s an open space for discussion rather than telling the child how they’ll feel.”

Dr Hackman’s son would cry and cling to her legs during separations, and struggled with unspoken rules and expectations in social and educational situations.

“It’s so stressful and heartbreaking,” she said.

“I think we all have seen it at some time or another.

“A lot of parents will know and will resonate with a child who doesn’t want to go to kindergarten or preschool or Prep.

“You just think about them all day and wonder if they’re OK.”

Her day job is about prevention over cure.

“You don’t have to wait for it to get to that point to get help,” she said.

“Wouldn’t it be good if parents could implement things so that it never gets to that point?

“So many of us were parented with that ‘she’ll be right’ mentality. Suck it up and hold it in.

“I think we expect a lot from kids.

“We expect them to trust and feel safe with a teacher they’ve met once, and trust that you’ll come back.

“The point is to familiarise them with their new environment, and meet their teachers and build trust.”

The Courageous Kids app is designed for children aged 2 to 6 years, and also contains a visual planner and games.

“It makes a world of difference for kids to know what to expect and feel ready for new experiences, and this app is already a game changer for anxious, autistic and highly sensitive kids,” Dr Hackman said.